Rike's journey

Hope you'll have a wonderful today. ...

These flowers are especially for you



Lovely thoughts and lotsa love

Rike

Dear Gilly,

I wasn't online the last few days. I read about your Mom this morning.

I lost my Dad last year, I was with him when he died. I think it's a great gift to be with a beloved one once he/she has to go.

It's hard to find the right words in a foreign language - I feel so sorry for you and your family. I hope you'll have the strength to make it through these hard times. And that there are 'real life people' you can lean on right now.

((( Gilly )))

Accept my deepest sympathy.


Love from Germany

Rike

Since I was quiet lately (had to work this week for the first time after vacation and surgery) and didn't do much besides working and reading fanfic. I wasn't even up to manipulate photos - seems my muse left me a little ;)

Wanted to share some photos with you - not fandom related. Hope you'll like them anyway...

( photos, photos, photos )

is always a hard thing to do...

I'm responsible for the web page of our auxiliary fire brigade. There is a guy that calls me once in while or sends me e-mails with updates about their activities. We talked on the phone sometimes, he contacted me when he had computer problems.

He called me last weekend, asked me where I had been. Told him about my vacation and the surgery. He was on vacation, too. Came back a couple of days ago, told me how nice it was to be alone in Spain. He is not married, no girl friend. Still lives at his mother's. He is a little bit strange, in a nice way. Guess life didn't treat him so well with relationships and stuff like that. He's not a friend, just someone I had to do with once in a while.

Yesterday I got a call from an acquaintance, we talked about stuff related to the theater group I'm in. And suddenly she said that she had to tell me something sad, told me that guy, Volker was his name, had died early in the morning. His mother went to his bedroom to wake him up, he said something like he was awake. She left and when he didn't follow after some time she went back and found him dead. He wasn't even 50... and I just don't get it. I mean I talked to him only a few days before. I saw my father die, and even though we knew he had to go we couldn't 'prepare' ourselfs. But in this case, there was no chance to say good bye or... I don't know... I feel strange and at the moment I don't know how to deal with it. I mean he wasn't even a friend but I liked him somehow.

Life is such a fragile thing. And to be honest, I've had it with bad news right now...

Sorry about ranting again. Just had to get if of my chest...

::sighs in relief ::

'kay, it was a carcinoma in situ - that means that there is no histological evidence of invasion through the epithelial basement membrane. Means, they did cut it out and that is it... no further treatment needed. The only thing I have to do is to have a checkup every three months from now on. Piece of cake, right? :) The doc told me that the borders of the cone they cut out of my cervix were free from any abnormal cells. And I'm really, really happy. Because that means they caught everything. That is worth the heavy bleeding I still suffer from ;)

Now, I guess I have to celebrate a little today :))) I would love to invite you all, I'm going to throw a virtual party tonight. Just let me know what you all would love to drink and to eat. And I'm pretty sure Alyjude will ask the boys in her basement to join us ;)))

Hugs to all of you for your good vibes and wishes... it helped a lot!!!

Went to my doc today. She wasn't pleased... but told me that the bleeding does come from the curettage and not from the part that had to be removed from the cervix.
I'm glad she noticed that I wasn't all to eager to go into the hospital again - so I promised her to rest and to stay in bed. But if it doesn't get much better within the next two days I should come again and then she'll decide what to do. So I'm in bed again - and it is so hard to stay there, I'm not used to it *g*

She told me that the histological results could be ready by tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to it. I'm a little nervous though ;)

thank God for my laptop... ;) I decided to better stay in bed (as I did yesterday already). But the bleeding won't stop and I feel a bit groggy. Guess that'll mean I have to 'visit' my doc tomorrow.

At least I can tell my boss that I'll not be able to do some work in the office next week as he asked for (politely). Keep your fingers crossed that I don't need another hospital stay - I'm soooo not looking forward to it - and to be without an internet connection really does make it worse ;))

I read some fanfic yesterday - it was recommended in another post. Tombstone by Pink Dragon - liked it a lot.... I really did. :)

Found another good one, at least it worked for me *g* Surrogate by Annabelle Leigh - and that one was really hot - even though it was different, regarding the typical J/B charakters.

::sighs::

I really hate to be ill and immobile...

I don't feel to bad - just a little queasy ;) Everything went well besides the fact that the bleeding during and after the surgery was a little bit too much. Went to my Doc today, she told me to rest a lot (so I guess I will take my laptop into the bedroom and into my bed *g*).

Thanks for the good wishes - they worked I guess ;) Now I'm waiting for the results, I hope they will be ready on Tuesday or so. I think positive thoughts.

I'll have to stay at home until next Friday, but my doc told me that there's probably the need to add another week as well. My boss (I talked to him today) isn't pleased at all. Even though he knows that I didn't intend to become ill he didn't even wish me a 'get better'... oh well...

Anyway... I try to use the time as best as I can. I hope to make some manips and to finish the next Sentinel songvid :)

Me again, Bunny.

Just talked to swalihina's hubby. He was just about to go to the hospital to pick her up and bring her home.

So I think this will be my last post here and the next entry will be by herself any time soon. I know her, she can't stay away from the comp for too long. ;)

Hi everyone!

This is bunnysworld, one of swalihina's RL friends.

I just called at her house and talked to her daughter. She told me that swalihina is okay. But due to a lot of bleeding (obviously more then they thought there would be) they kept her at the hopsital over night and she's supposed to go home tomorrow.

Guess she can't feel too bad when she can give her daughters orders to make me come here and do this post. ;)

Still, I know she will appreciate any and every good little thought you might have to spare and send it her way. Thanks.

Bunny
aka
bunnysworld

It's unbelievable how stupid I am sometimes. Tried to vacuum-clean the bedroom, I didn't recognize that one shoelace was loose. I stepped on it with my other foot, got out of balance and felt backwards against the laundry basket and my closet. The basket broke and I know the area above my kidneys will turn nicely into a bluish color. Now I'm sitting here with an icepack (and no, I had no frozen peas *g*)... oh man... I'm pathetic ;)

Had the appointment at the hospital today - they are not going to waste any time ;) They told me that the surgery will be tomorrow already. They explained me everything they are going to do. I hope that everything will be alright after the surgery, but I have to wait until they get the results in a few days.

The anesthetist is cute - if he's the last one I will see before going into oblivion (I love h/c fanfic - read a lot lately and now I know what it's for ::smiles::) it's okay for me.

If everything goes well they will let me go home tomorrow afternoon - but no work for two weeks or so - my boss is very pleased :( Too bad I'm in a metal stamping company and not in an office. I'm not allowed to do any 'heavy' work - and I hope that includes housework as well ;)

If they are able to eliminate each and every cell that needs to be removed than that's it. If not I have to have a second surgery - and if everything doesn't work there's the need for a hysterectomy (but I'm thinking good thoughts here *g*).

I know some people of the hospital staff - I know they will be nice. And I hope they don't mind me calling after Blair and Jim - I know I'm weird sometimes, and I dunno what anesthesia does to me ::looking bashfully::

Thanks for the good thoughts and wishes you already send me - it is much appreciated...

PS - I know everyone is aware of it, but I really recommend to take cancer prevention serious. I have to admit that I 'forgot' to go to my gynecologist for quite some years. But I did it since my father suffered from cancer. And I'm more than happy I went on a regular basis since then...

Thanks to demeter94 - found the following 'quiz' in her journal - had to give it a try ;)

You Should Be an Actor

You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself. No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally!

If only I had an agent - and a director/producer with a project ::sighs::

;)

a LJ account today... had to be. Sometimes I have to do something nice for me ;) Okay, the main reason was, that the advertisement on my page just sucked and annoyed me.

Now I try to find out how to customize my journal. I don't have much planned, just ad a banner or so. To be honest, I have no clue of CSS and stuff like that. But I'm sure I will figure that out ;) - hopefully.

from my vacation... earlier as planned. And the vacation wasn't really what I had hoped for. ::sighs:: Not everything went well - hubby was ill for more than a week and my son wasn't a happy as well - he did not feel good, too. And then I got a phone call from my gynecologist - the last results of the tests they made aren't so well - there is the need of a little surgery, so I have to make some calls tomorrow. I know my boss will not be pleased at all...

Anyway, I'm back... missed you all a lot... I will call it a night - the 14 hours drive made me tired.

...will not start as one...

First hubby went home, his face 'grey' and he was in a lot of pain. We already knew what was going on - for the third time within a few weeks he suffers from an inflammation of his biliary tract. He went to the doc immediately and got some prescriptions. I hope he will feel better so that we are able to leave on Saturday evening.

::sighs:: And I dropped a cake plate - wasn't fast enough to get my left foot out of the way. Now especially my big left toe looks very 'bluish' - I hope it's not broken.

Oh well...

I'm sooo happy... I got the Limited 3-Disc Collector's Edition of 'Pan's Labyrinth' today. The film was not in the movies at my place - and I wonder why. So I had to wait for the DVD's being released.

I'm so glad they arrived before my vacation starts...

I heard about that film on the news one day - thought the story sounded very touching (and I'm such a fan of tales for grown-ups). I went to the webpage
http://www.panslabyrinth.com/
and got hooked already by the music. Now I'm very, very curious about the film... But I already know I will love it :)

Now, if only my First Season TS DVD's would arrive soon ::sighs::

::sighs::

http://www.the-sentinel.de/

It was about time ;) Such a long time without any updates... Okay, not that there is much new - but I finally made it and put a web gallery up (like I have with my photography - page). At the moment you will find only the icons I made - but the other stuff like manips and such will follow soon. Took me some time to customize the page (I'm so slow with css and that kind of stuff *g*)

this stupid internet connection is a pain in the a... - the last few days it only works sporadically... makes me angry, I don't need that...

sorry for the rant, sorry for the ugly user pic - but that's what I would love to show to my internet provider right now...

So - if I don't reply to a post or don't answer an e-mail - it may be that I just can't...

btw... if you would like to see:

the many faces... of me

my Dad died... on July 20th. He suffered from cancer, he was fighting for his life for more than three years.

It was a very sad day - it still hurts like hell, I miss him so much...

I took that pic after he had the tumor in his head removed - he loved the photo so much, and so do I.



I couldn't get online yesterday evening, my internet connection broke down and it just added to this crappy day. Would have loved to talk to someone - no, not in real life. Sometimes I don't need 'real life people'. Just getting in contact with someone out there...

It still throws me out - sometimes I hate it...